I’ve lived for most of my adult life and childhood in a very dark place, trauma and all its faithful companions were my life partners, dissociation, depression and PTSD, to name a few.
At 17 I tried to commit suicide twice. Life was surely not worth living. At 40, the hopelessness and powerlessness, excruciating physical pain and fatigue because I had been living with fibromyalgia for over 10 years and CPS, anger, shame and self-hate I was bathing in made me fantasize again about ending the whole show. I was slowly killing my self because of poor eating habits, weight gain paired with diabetes and refusal to medicate. I was in such despair because I could not fathom how and why I could possibly be doing that to myself having this beautiful baby girl, who gifted me every day with her celestial smile. The more I despised myself, the more I took refuge in addictive behaviors.
It was hell on earth.
Yet even in the darkest of moments I felt I was not done. I didn’t know what it was back then, but I had this inner-knowing that there was a way out of this downward spiral, a way out of this inferno.
Something else was calling me to life.
Let me guide you through the confusion of your mind into the freedom of your heart.
I’ve lived for most of my adult life and childhood in a very dark place, trauma and all its faithful companions were my life partners, dissociation, depression and PTSD, to name a few.
At 17 I tried to commit suicide twice. Life was surely not worth living. At 40, the hopelessness and powerlessness, excruciating physical pain and fatigue because I had been living with fibromyalgia for over 10 years and CPS, anger, shame and self-hate I was bathing in made me fantasize again about ending the whole show.
I was slowly killing my self because of poor eating habits, weight gain paired with diabetes and refusal to medicate. I was in such despair because I could not fathom how and why I could possibly be doing that to myself having this beautiful baby girl, who gifted me every day with her celestial smile. The more I despised myself, the more I took refuge in addictive behaviors.
It was hell on earth.
Yet even in the darkest of moments I felt I was not done. I didn’t know what it was back then, but I had this inner-knowing that there was a way out of this downward spiral, a way out of this inferno.
Something else was calling me to life.
Let me guide you through the confusion of your mind into the freedom of your heart.
I am highly sensitive and an intuitive. As a teenager I would just “know” things before they would happen, and of course, I did my best to shut it off because it was neither “appropriate nor rationale”. And society loves “reason”, even at the cost of our own growth, self-realization and joy. I started having these wild dreams about “awakening from the collective amnesia”, also some lucid dreams where I would feel impossibly high vibrations and a call to be of service. I was awakened. That’s when my healing and spiritual journey kicked off.
I spent years looking for the perfect therapist, mentor, healer, coach, healing tools, spiritual teachers, read hundreds of books…. Until I found Clinical EFT tapping and breathwork to help me release my big T Traumas, everything I had applied before were simple patches.
However TRUE peace and FREEDOM only came when I understood and integrated that even with these amazing healing tools, it was about the journey and not the destination. I was looking for a state where I will be feeling continuous bliss and flow, but I’ll tell you right from the start, this is a fantasy, it’s simply not realistic given that most of us do not live on top of a mountain with monks and meditating 10 hours a day.
LIFE WILL KEEP LIFING, the difference will be in that you’ll have clarity and make more conscious choices and that what used to trigger you and make you feel bad for days, would vanish away in minutes or few hours (depending on the event). The driver who cuts me off traffic still gets me, I would even curse, and right after I would have this big belly laugh, because now I know TRUTH, I learnt to love and honor my humanity, I understand where my emotions are coming from and I honor them as my teachers.
I am highly sensitive and an intuitive. As a teenager I would just “know” things before they would happen, and of course, I did my best to shut it off because it was neither “appropriate nor rationale”. And society loves “reason”, even at the cost of our own growth, self-realization and joy. I started having these wild dreams about “awakening from the collective amnesia”, also some lucid dreams where I would feel impossibly high vibrations and a call to be of service. I was awakened. That’s when my healing and spiritual journey kicked off.
I spent years looking for the perfect therapist, mentor, healer, coach, healing tools, spiritual teachers, read hundreds of books…. Until I found Clinical EFT tapping and breathwork to help me release my big T Traumas, everything I had applied before were simple patches.
However TRUE peace and FREEDOM only came when I understood and integrated that even with these amazing healing tools, it was about the journey and not the destination. I was looking for a state where I will be feeling continuous bliss and flow, but I’ll tell you right from the start, this is a fantasy, it’s simply not realistic given that most of us do not live on top of a mountain with monks and meditating 10 hours a day.
LIFE WILL KEEP LIFING, the difference will be in that you’ll have clarity and make more conscious choices and that what used to trigger you and make you feel bad for days, would vanish away in minutes or few hours (depending on the event). The driver who cuts me off traffic still gets me, I would even curse, and right after I would have this big belly laugh, because now I know TRUTH, I learnt to love and honor my humanity, I understand where my emotions are coming from and I honor them as my teachers.